RuPaul’s Drag Race S3ep12 + Untucked

This was an entirely different episode of RuPaul, and I have to say my biggest worry – that it would be boring without Shangela – didn’t happen. Instead it was fun and sweet and nice to watch, with a different sort of conflict. Wow.

Raja is happy that Shangela is gone – so happy she dances. But they’re also worried which queen the judges chose to come back. After the Shemail – full of sports double entendres – Ru appears and opens a door (pit crew in swim shorts) and there is Carmen! Manila and Raja are thrilled it’s a Heather and neither Alexis nor Yara seem especially put out about it. (Also, Manila is wearing black pants and shirt with a white tie and belt and pink shoes and looks completely adorable.)

The mini-challenge is a dunking booth. The queens are told to put on their suits and to choose who they’ll dunk (they all immediately point to Carmen, of course.) Raja, who is wearing a robe, a towel turban and sunglasses, picks Carmen (t-shirt and swim trunks like the other three) but Raja? Can’t throw. She gets ONE hit – enough to dunk Carmen. Alexis picks Yara and dunks her 14 times. Yara picks Alexis and gets her seven times. Manila picks Carmen (who just got warm) and dunked her once. Carmen picks Raja and gets her six times.

Obviously, Alexis wins.

They dry off and get dressed and meet back in the “You better werk” room. There five handsome young men walk in – Yara says it smells like testosterone – and it turns out they’re all jocks and the challenge is to turn these guys into their drag sisters. Alexis gets to choose who goes with whom. She gives the bigger, more masculine guys to the “Heathers” and takes the smallest and prettiest for herself. Decent strategy, really, but it could backfire.

The jocks are all willing (to a point – tucking is an issue, as you can imagine) to try as hard as possible to do a good job. There’s walking in heels and applying make-up and trying to figure out how to make these guys be similar to them – Carmen has to show a lot of skin, but her guy is beefy, and Raja needs to take Chris, who is a big, sweet guy, and make him into a fashionista.

And then Ru comes in and tells them that the heels aren’t high enough, and then gives another twist – they also have to come up with cheerleader outfits and do a cheer supporting safe sex. No one seems to think this will be pretty at all.

Slava flirts with Alexis. And he makes a gorgeous woman, even with his nose.

They try very hard to dance in their heels, and it’s very sweet and endearing but it also had to be frustrating.

There’s a very sweet moment when Carmen asks Chevy if his family knows he’s straight. Chevy laughs but says his younger brother is gay, and angry because he doesn’t want to be. Carmen suggests that seeing big brother in drag might help, and Chevy hopes that it does, because he wants his brother to be happy about himself.

The cheerleading challenge is, to put it bluntly, a mess. No one looks particularly good, the cheers are on the lame side and eventually, someone has to explain what barebacking is to Sharon Osbourne. The other judges are Mike Ruiz and Margaret Cho, btw. I honestly can’t even say who was best or worse.

The glamorous looks are a bit easier. Alexis makes Slava/Avals look like her sister, with her big fake boobs and all, and Slava works it. They look just fine.

Raja and Enigma, on the other hand…both are in cheetah print, and Raja looks gorgeous in her lace t-shirt and dress and red wig, but Chris…not so much. And he can’t walk.

Yara and Drewlita are in gold, Mandrell sister style, and Drew wears a long blond wig and…well, it’s not awful.

Carmen is wearing as little as possible – AGAIN – and so is Lolita, but Chevy really doesn’t have the body for it. He looks like a guy in a bikini. He’s trying, though. These boys are so cute.

And then Manila and Fuschia come out, and she has them as China dolls in red kimonos, with Matt wearing a blond wig and they look amazing. And they work that runway.

In the end, as the boys watch from the Interior Illusions Lounge, Alexis is safe, Manila WINS (Matt shouts, “That’s my GIRL!”), Raja is up for elimination, Yara is safe and Carmen is also up for elimination.

What follows is…amazing. They lipsync to a Paula Abdul song, and then the clothes come off. Rather, Raja takes off her dress, leaving her in bra, panties and the lace t-shirt, while Carmen, who is wearing a bikini, takes the bottoms off. Yeah. They blur her middle.

Raja kills the lipsync, but there’s a point where both are on the runway and there’s kissing and licking and it’s basically soft-core porn right there. It’s…wow. But also, it’s kinda sweet. I don’t even know.

Raja wins, and Carmen goes home again.

The sweetness continues in Untucked. Serioiusly. I mean, Alexis is a touch bitchy and claims she did no strategy when she paired them up, but it was clear she did. And all of the jocks changed to sneakers IMMEDIATELY. The two groups split up (after the queens make sure the boys drink their drinks with straws so as not to mess up their make-up) to talk.

The boys, of course, have no idea how to sit and really don’t care. Raja knows she’s in the bottom two because, while Chris is sweet and very willing, he doesn’t like music and she can’t teach him to dance. She’d rather sleep with a straight man than make them into a lady – and she’s done both. They also tease Alexis about Slava – Yara claims he’s already a drag queen, but they loved he was flirting with her. Alexis’s first kiss was with a straight man.

The jocks talk about the pain of wigs and high heels (and how they now understand how their dates feel) and there’s a discussion of tucking. None of them actually did any, relying on pantyhose and speedos to do the job, with Manila grateful there was no bulge. The queens didn’t want to force the issue, figuring that was one piece of masculinity they could let the boys have. The boys, on the other hand, were varying degrees of horrified watching Carmen tuck.

The jocks were also very cute watching the judging – not surprisingly, they’re very competitive types, and they were all pulling hard for their “sister”. While Matt changed “That’s my girl!” to “That’s my boy!”, Drew let his “That’s my girl” about Yara’s safety stay. Although Matt was even more thrilled to get a cruise – and the other guys all congratulated him.

Chris and Chevy both felt very bad when Raja and Carmen had to compete in the end, although the other guys assured them that they did their best (and Slava offered to let them squeeze his “titties”.)

And, yes, they thought the two “lesbians” on the floor was very like porn. So that was cool, too. Chevy was very upset that Carmen lost. You could tell he thought he let her down, but the guys all had to admit Raja killed that dance.

There’s no snark, there’s no bitchiness, there’s no shade. And yet this was one of the most enjoyable Untucked I’ve seen. Maybe I just like cute, sweet jocks in drag. I don’t know.

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About mamadeb

I'm a devoted fan of Adam Lambert, but also of cooking, knitting, science fiction and pretty anything pop culture. I'm @_mamadeb on Twitter.
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