Many, many, so many apologies. Let’s get on with the show.
One by one, the new crop of queens walk into the “Youbettawerk” room, starting with Willam. Willam is very pretty (prettier as a boy) who has had actual tv acting roles. Which she will never let you forget. She also has a scathing sense of humor. Dida Ritz stood out for her towering hair, Kenya for her pretty face and diminutive size. Latrice Royale for her magnificent size and even more magnificent voice. There were two other plus-sized queens – Jiggly and Madame LaQueer. Chad Michaels came in in sweet and experienced, LaShawn was brand-new. The Princess is gauged and tattooed; Sharon Needles is “stupid” except she’s not. Alysa has a breastplate. Phi Phi O’Hare looks like Mondo but doesn’t have his charm and Milan is very, very pretty. Or “fishy”, as they say.
RuPaul announces that this will be the RuPocalypse. First challenge is to have Mike Ruiz take their pictures while the Pit Crew shoots “toxic waste” at them. They all wear white A-line strapless dresses over crinolines – basically looks like they pulled skirts under their armpits. They stand (in their heels, their hair and that dress) on a tiny turntable. Several fall. Latrice doesn’t even bother standing up again – she awesomely poses right there. Jiggly wins. I actually don’t know who was good and who was bad, so, you know. Fine.
Then they’re taken out (in drag) to this abandoned town set, and meet zombies – contestants from former seasons, and get – I think – materials for their costumes.
They then repair back to the workroom to create those costumes. Jiggly can’t sew. And, okay. Let me say this AGAIN. If you’re going on Amazing Race, learn to drive a stick shift. If you’re going on Project Runway, learn how to make a pattern. If you’re going on Survivor, learn how to make a fire without a match. If you’re going on Top Chef, learn how to make a couple of desserts that can be adapted to different materials. If you’re going on RPDR, LEARN HOW TO SEW.
I’m not going through the various costumes because the most striking was Sharon Needles, who came out bald-wigged and covered with make up (and in the first dress she EVER sewed) with fake blood in her mouth. And therefore she won. Deservedly so. On the bottom were Jiggly, who basically hot-glued junk all over her outfit, and Alysa, who wore her breastplate. And Jiggly did an awesome job lip-syncing for her life, while Alysa…didn’t. Sashay away, my dear.
The Untucked was people telling Jiggly she needed to know how to sew, and Jiggly not having it. Also they critiqued the photos, and decided that LaQueer posed best. Phi Phi got into it with Willam, who does name drop all the time – why did she even go on this show? On the other hand, Willam recognized that, as the middle group, they were not winners and Phi Phi didn’t like that, either. Jiggly and Phi Phi are going to liven this show up, I think.